Say Yes to Saying No

Saying no is hard. You know it; we know it; that’s why we’re talking about it. Howard Lerner and John Pa have a candid conversation about how they’ve made mistakes in saying yes to things they didn’t want to and how they are practicing saying no better. But it’s not just about saying no, we do that so we can say yes to the things that they really want to.


0:00 Election chatter
5:05 Saying no intro
6:30 Why do we say yes?
7:05 Howard’s example of saying yes
10:25 “Saying yes is always no to something else”
11:30 That important because we only have some many summers left in life
13:25 No keeps you from a life of regret
13:40 “Pre-grets”
14:20 John’s first big lesson in the importance of saying no and relationships
18:20 Balancing yes and no
19:00 Howard’s reactions to requests
21:20 Another example of Howard saying yes that he regretted
22:30 You don’t need an excuse or a reason to say no
23:25 John’s sad story to not being able to say no
26:35 Science of people post about saying no. Link
26:50 You don’t need an excuse
28:30 How do you say no kindly and preserve the relationship?
29:00 Why do we say no so unkindly?
30:50 Being polite can get us in trouble
31:40 Does Howard take it personally when someone says no to him?
34:00 What is Howard putting into practice with saying no
35:00 How Howard feels when he’s said no well. Hint: it’s awesome
35:45 Making goals and objectives for our lives helps us say no better
40:15 How John says no kindly
42:40 How Howard says no in different circumstances
44:55 Dealing with the stress of being asked for something
48:55 Closing thoughts

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