Friendships in Midlife

It’s hard making new friendships in middle age. John and I discuss our friendship and what you can do to expand your circle.

00:25 We are a country in waiting
2:23 Making friendships in midlife
1:53 Difficulty making friendships is a universal challenge
3:40 Barriers to adult friendships
4:30 Friendship defined
8:20 Friends are supportive
8:50 John as a bad friend?
12:29 To challenge or support?
14:29 Frenemies
14:47 The ideal friendship
16:47 Drinking buddies
18:15 Boundaries
19:30 Saying “no
20:25 The history of Howard and John’s friendship
20:55 Andres
23:30 Sump Coffee
28:14 A lot of friendship is uncontrollable
29:14 Midlife friendship is magic
30:00 Keeping up with the Joneses
32:10 Cultivating friendships
33:07 I’m craving a pickle, not a cupcake. A bad analogy
34:50 Extroverts vs. introverts
36:00 Do you have a friend to walk with? How do you get that?
37:20 There’s no friendship app
38:00 We don’t teach friendship
41:40 “What do you need, a raised-letter invitation?”
43:53 Intruding vs. being friendly
46:02 Friendships forged in battle
46:44 Ted
48:13 Organic friendship in midlife
49:00 Going for it
51:10 People you like are at places you like
52:25 How to make a friend
54:52 Social skills are important
55:45 Friendships change form over time
57:11 Focus on the most meaningful friendships. Life’s short
58:16 If you can’t be honest with your friends, those are not friends
1:00 Talk to strangers

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